Ideas from 'talk' by Will Sommers [2019], by Theme Structure

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5. Theory of Logic / E. Structures of Logic / 5. Functions in Logic
F(x) walked into a bar. The barman said..
                        Full Idea: F(x) walked into a bar. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't cater for functions'.
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
7. Existence / A. Nature of Existence / 3. Being / d. Non-being
Sartre to Waitress: Coffee with no cream, please...
                        Full Idea: Sartre to Waitress: Coffee with no cream, please. Waitress: Sorry, we're out of cream; would no milk do?
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
7. Existence / D. Theories of Reality / 3. Anti-realism
Said Plato: 'The things that we feel...
                        Full Idea: Said Plato: 'The things that we feel/ Are not ontologically real,/ But just the excrescence/ Of numinous essence/ Our senses can never reveal.' [Basil Ransome-Davis]
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
11. Knowledge Aims / B. Certain Knowledge / 5. Cogito Critique
There was a young student called Fred...
                        Full Idea: There was a young student called Fred,/ Who was questioned on Descartes and said:/ 'It's perfectly clear/ That I'm not really here,/ For I haven't a thought in my head.' [V.R. Ormerod]
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
Barman to Descartes: Would you like another drink?...
                        Full Idea: Barman to Descartes: Would you like another drink? Descartes: I think not (...and promptly vanishes)
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
11. Knowledge Aims / C. Knowing Reality / 2. Phenomenalism
A philosopher and his wife are out for a drive...
                        Full Idea: A philosopher and his wife are out for a drive in the country. 'Oh look!' she says, 'Those sheep have been shorn.' 'Yes', says the philosopher, 'on this side'.
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
11. Knowledge Aims / C. Knowing Reality / 3. Idealism / c. Empirical idealism
The philosopher Berkeley once said..
                        Full Idea: The philosopher Berkeley once said/ In the dark to a maid in his bed:/ 'No perception, my dear,/ Means I'm not really here,/ But only a thought in your head.' [P.W.R. Foot]
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
There once was a man who said: 'God...
                        Full Idea: There once was a man who said: 'God/ Must think it exceedingly odd/ If he finds that this tree/ Continues to be,/ When there's no-one about in the Quad.' [Ronald Knox] (reply in 12404)
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
..But if he's a student of Berkeley...
                        Full Idea: (continued from 12401) ..But if he's a student of Berkeley,/ One thing will emerge, rather starkly,/ That he ought to believe/ What his senses perceive,/ No matter how dimly or darkly. [Leslie Johnson]
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
Dear Sir, Your astonishment's odd....
                        Full Idea: (reply to 12403) Dear Sir, Your astonishment's odd:/ I am always about in the Quad./ And that's why the tree/ Will continue to be,/ Since observed by Yours faithfully, God.' [anon]
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
12. Knowledge Sources / B. Perception / 1. Perception
"My dog's got synaesthesia." How does he smell? .....
                        Full Idea: "My dog's got synaesthesia." How does he smell? "Purple."
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
13. Knowledge Criteria / D. Scepticism / 1. Scepticism
A toper who spies in the distance...
                        Full Idea: A toper who spies in the distance,/ Striped tigers, will get some assistance/ From reading Descartes,/ Who holds that it's part/ Of his duty to doubt their existence. ... [Leslie Johnson] - (continued in 12402)
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
16. Persons / F. Free Will / 6. Determinism / a. Determinism
There once was a man who said 'Damn!...
                        Full Idea: There once was a man who said 'Damn!/ It is borne in upon me I am/ An engine that moves/ In predestinate grooves:/ I'm not even a bus, I'm a tram.' [M.E. Hare]
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
17. Mind and Body / B. Behaviourism / 4. Behaviourism Critique
How do behaviourists greet each other?
                        Full Idea: How do behaviourists greet each other? Hi - you're fine, how am I?
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
24. Political Theory / C. Ruling a State / 2. Leaders / d. Elites
'If you're aristocratic,' said Nietzsche...
                        Full Idea: 'If you're aristocratic,' said Nietzsche,/ 'It's thumbs up, you're OK. Pleased to mietzsche./ If you're working-class bores,/ It's thumbs down and up yours!/ If you don't know your place, then I'll tietzsche.' [Gerry Hamill]
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
24. Political Theory / D. Ideologies / 2. Anarchism
Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?
                        Full Idea: Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
26. Natural Theory / C. Causation / 9. General Causation / a. Constant conjunction
Cries the maid: 'You must marry me Hume!'...
                        Full Idea: Cries the maid: 'You must marry me Hume!'/ A statement that made David fume./ He said: 'In cause and effect,/ There is a defect;/ That it's mine you can only assume.' [P.W.R. Foot]
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
Causation - we all thought we knew it/ Till Hume came along and saw through it/.
                        Full Idea: Causation - we all thought we knew it / Till Hume came along and saw through it / We notice that A / Follows B every day / And frankly that's all there is to it.
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
27. Natural Reality / D. Time / 1. Nature of Time / c. Idealist time
The barman called 'Time!', and Augustine said.....
                        Full Idea: The barman called 'Time!'. Augustine: 'I don't know what you mean, though I did before you said that'.
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])
27. Natural Reality / D. Time / 2. Passage of Time / c. Tenses and time
The past, present and future walked into a bar....
                        Full Idea: The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
                        From: Will Sommers (talk [2019])