23 ideas
15105 | F(x) walked into a bar. The barman said.. [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: F(x) walked into a bar. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't cater for functions'. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12408 | Sartre to Waitress: Coffee with no cream, please... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Sartre to Waitress: Coffee with no cream, please. Waitress: Sorry, we're out of cream; would no milk do? | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12397 | Said Plato: 'The things that we feel... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Said Plato: 'The things that we feel/ Are not ontologically real,/ But just the excrescence/ Of numinous essence/ Our senses can never reveal.' [Basil Ransome-Davis] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12407 | Barman to Descartes: Would you like another drink?... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Barman to Descartes: Would you like another drink? Descartes: I think not (...and promptly vanishes) | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12399 | There was a young student called Fred... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: There was a young student called Fred,/ Who was questioned on Descartes and said:/ 'It's perfectly clear/ That I'm not really here,/ For I haven't a thought in my head.' [V.R. Ormerod] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
20963 | A philosopher and his wife are out for a drive... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: A philosopher and his wife are out for a drive in the country. 'Oh look!' she says, 'Those sheep have been shorn.' 'Yes', says the philosopher, 'on this side'. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12404 | Dear Sir, Your astonishment's odd.... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: (reply to 12403) Dear Sir, Your astonishment's odd:/ I am always about in the Quad./ And that's why the tree/ Will continue to be,/ Since observed by Yours faithfully, God.' [anon] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12403 | There once was a man who said: 'God... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: There once was a man who said: 'God/ Must think it exceedingly odd/ If he finds that this tree/ Continues to be,/ When there's no-one about in the Quad.' [Ronald Knox] (reply in 12404) | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12402 | ..But if he's a student of Berkeley... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: (continued from 12401) ..But if he's a student of Berkeley,/ One thing will emerge, rather starkly,/ That he ought to believe/ What his senses perceive,/ No matter how dimly or darkly. [Leslie Johnson] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12409 | The philosopher Berkeley once said.. [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: The philosopher Berkeley once said/ In the dark to a maid in his bed:/ 'No perception, my dear,/ Means I'm not really here,/ But only a thought in your head.' [P.W.R. Foot] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
14694 | "My dog's got synaesthesia." How does he smell? ..... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: "My dog's got synaesthesia." How does he smell? "Purple." | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12401 | A toper who spies in the distance... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: A toper who spies in the distance,/ Striped tigers, will get some assistance/ From reading Descartes,/ Who holds that it's part/ Of his duty to doubt their existence. ... [Leslie Johnson] - (continued in 12402) | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12410 | There once was a man who said 'Damn!... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: There once was a man who said 'Damn!/ It is borne in upon me I am/ An engine that moves/ In predestinate grooves:/ I'm not even a bus, I'm a tram.' [M.E. Hare] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
9392 | How do behaviourists greet each other? [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: How do behaviourists greet each other? Hi - you're fine, how am I? | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12405 | 'If you're aristocratic,' said Nietzsche... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: 'If you're aristocratic,' said Nietzsche,/ 'It's thumbs up, you're OK. Pleased to mietzsche./ If you're working-class bores,/ It's thumbs down and up yours!/ If you don't know your place, then I'll tietzsche.' [Gerry Hamill] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
9391 | Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
22254 | Economic capitalist liberty naturally leads to democratic political liberty [Novak] |
Full Idea: The natural logic of capitalism leads to democracy. For economic liberties without political liberties are inherently unstable. | |
From: Michael Novak (The Spirit of Democratic Capitalism [1982], p.15), quoted by David Conway - Capitalism and Community II | |
A reaction: Not sure about 'inherently unstable'. Only in the sense that if you dish out economic liberties, people come to expect political liberties. China and Hong Kong are each currently facing this problem. Capitalist liberty can be highly restricted. |
1748 | Archelaus was the first person to say that the universe is boundless [Archelaus, by Diog. Laertius] |
Full Idea: Archelaus was the first person to say that the universe is boundless. | |
From: report of Archelaus (fragments/reports [c.450 BCE]) by Diogenes Laertius - Lives of Eminent Philosophers 02.Ar.3 |
12400 | Cries the maid: 'You must marry me Hume!'... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Cries the maid: 'You must marry me Hume!'/ A statement that made David fume./ He said: 'In cause and effect,/ There is a defect;/ That it's mine you can only assume.' [P.W.R. Foot] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
16527 | Causation - we all thought we knew it/ Till Hume came along and saw through it/…. [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Causation - we all thought we knew it / Till Hume came along and saw through it / We notice that A / Follows B every day / And frankly that's all there is to it. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
17592 | The barman called 'Time!', and Augustine said..... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: The barman called 'Time!'. Augustine: 'I don't know what you mean, though I did before you said that'. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
15208 | The past, present and future walked into a bar.... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
5989 | Archelaus said life began in a primeval slime [Archelaus, by Schofield] |
Full Idea: Archelaus wrote that life on Earth began in a primeval slime. | |
From: report of Archelaus (fragments/reports [c.450 BCE]) by Malcolm Schofield - Archelaus | |
A reaction: This sounds like a fairly clearcut assertion of the production of life by evolution. Darwin's contribution was to propose the mechanism for achieving it. We should honour the name of Archelaus for this idea. |