23 ideas
15105 | F(x) walked into a bar. The barman said.. [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: F(x) walked into a bar. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't cater for functions'. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12408 | Sartre to Waitress: Coffee with no cream, please... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Sartre to Waitress: Coffee with no cream, please. Waitress: Sorry, we're out of cream; would no milk do? | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12397 | Said Plato: 'The things that we feel... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Said Plato: 'The things that we feel/ Are not ontologically real,/ But just the excrescence/ Of numinous essence/ Our senses can never reveal.' [Basil Ransome-Davis] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12399 | There was a young student called Fred... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: There was a young student called Fred,/ Who was questioned on Descartes and said:/ 'It's perfectly clear/ That I'm not really here,/ For I haven't a thought in my head.' [V.R. Ormerod] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12407 | Barman to Descartes: Would you like another drink?... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Barman to Descartes: Would you like another drink? Descartes: I think not (...and promptly vanishes) | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
20963 | A philosopher and his wife are out for a drive... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: A philosopher and his wife are out for a drive in the country. 'Oh look!' she says, 'Those sheep have been shorn.' 'Yes', says the philosopher, 'on this side'. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12403 | There once was a man who said: 'God... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: There once was a man who said: 'God/ Must think it exceedingly odd/ If he finds that this tree/ Continues to be,/ When there's no-one about in the Quad.' [Ronald Knox] (reply in 12404) | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12402 | ..But if he's a student of Berkeley... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: (continued from 12401) ..But if he's a student of Berkeley,/ One thing will emerge, rather starkly,/ That he ought to believe/ What his senses perceive,/ No matter how dimly or darkly. [Leslie Johnson] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12409 | The philosopher Berkeley once said.. [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: The philosopher Berkeley once said/ In the dark to a maid in his bed:/ 'No perception, my dear,/ Means I'm not really here,/ But only a thought in your head.' [P.W.R. Foot] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12404 | Dear Sir, Your astonishment's odd.... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: (reply to 12403) Dear Sir, Your astonishment's odd:/ I am always about in the Quad./ And that's why the tree/ Will continue to be,/ Since observed by Yours faithfully, God.' [anon] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
14694 | "My dog's got synaesthesia." How does he smell? ..... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: "My dog's got synaesthesia." How does he smell? "Purple." | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12401 | A toper who spies in the distance... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: A toper who spies in the distance,/ Striped tigers, will get some assistance/ From reading Descartes,/ Who holds that it's part/ Of his duty to doubt their existence. ... [Leslie Johnson] - (continued in 12402) | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
12410 | There once was a man who said 'Damn!... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: There once was a man who said 'Damn!/ It is borne in upon me I am/ An engine that moves/ In predestinate grooves:/ I'm not even a bus, I'm a tram.' [M.E. Hare] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
9392 | How do behaviourists greet each other? [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: How do behaviourists greet each other? Hi - you're fine, how am I? | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
7076 | Mill wondered if he would be happy if all his aims were realised, and answered no [Mill, by Critchley] |
Full Idea: Mill, in his crisis of 1827, asked himself whether he would be happy if all his objects in life were realised, and had to answer that he would not. | |
From: report of John Stuart Mill (Autobiography [1870]) by Simon Critchley - Continental Philosophy - V. Short Intro Ch.3 | |
A reaction: The reply is either that happiness is in the striving, or that his aims in life were wrong, or that happiness is impossible. It seems to contradict Kant's definition (Idea 1452). |
12405 | 'If you're aristocratic,' said Nietzsche... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: 'If you're aristocratic,' said Nietzsche,/ 'It's thumbs up, you're OK. Pleased to mietzsche./ If you're working-class bores,/ It's thumbs down and up yours!/ If you don't know your place, then I'll tietzsche.' [Gerry Hamill] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
9391 | Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
13304 | Learned men gain more in one day than others do in a lifetime [Posidonius] |
Full Idea: In a single day there lies open to men of learning more than there ever does to the unenlightened in the longest of lifetimes. | |
From: Posidonius (fragments/reports [c.95 BCE]), quoted by Seneca the Younger - Letters from a Stoic 078 | |
A reaction: These remarks endorsing the infinite superiority of the educated to the uneducated seem to have been popular in late antiquity. It tends to be the religions which discourage great learning, especially in their emphasis on a single book. |
12400 | Cries the maid: 'You must marry me Hume!'... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Cries the maid: 'You must marry me Hume!'/ A statement that made David fume./ He said: 'In cause and effect,/ There is a defect;/ That it's mine you can only assume.' [P.W.R. Foot] | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
16527 | Causation - we all thought we knew it/ Till Hume came along and saw through it/…. [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: Causation - we all thought we knew it / Till Hume came along and saw through it / We notice that A / Follows B every day / And frankly that's all there is to it. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
17592 | The barman called 'Time!', and Augustine said..... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: The barman called 'Time!'. Augustine: 'I don't know what you mean, though I did before you said that'. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |
20820 | Time is an interval of motion, or the measure of speed [Posidonius, by Stobaeus] |
Full Idea: Posidonius defined time thus: it is an interval of motion, or the measure of speed and slowness. | |
From: report of Posidonius (fragments/reports [c.95 BCE]) by John Stobaeus - Anthology 1.08.42 | |
A reaction: Hm. Can we define motion or speed without alluding to time? Looks like we have to define them as a conjoined pair, which means we cannot fully understand either of them. |
15208 | The past, present and future walked into a bar.... [Sommers,W] |
Full Idea: The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense. | |
From: Will Sommers (talk [2019]) |